Going up and Going down

I've always been told that I can be a little bit opinionated, that I don't know when to shut up and that I call a spade a spade, so I thought that I might as well put these charming comments to good use which is why I have created Going Up and Going Down; my guide to what should be celebrated and mocked each week.

Going Up

Idris Elba
Or more famously know as DCI John Luther and may I say 'swoon!' (it’s rare I use this word, only when completely necessary).  Not only is this man very easy on the eye but boy can he act, and this is not the only thing he can do, he is a techno DJ enthusiast, much to a few of my friends delight and amusement.  After working our way through three seasons of Luther in a month we have now turned to The Wire; my Elba addiction needed feeding.  

Dark Florals
With my love of florals you can imagine my fear that they may have been forgotten about in the Autumn/Winter collections and I would have to suffer my way through another drab winter.  Thankfully I need not have feared, dark florals are everywhere and Topshop have a great collection which you can check out on my recent Pinterest board.

Mushy Peas.
I would never have imagined in a million years that my taste buds would come round to mushy peas.  They are an awful colour of green, they smell and have a grainy texture, but after a recent trip to David Kennedy’s Food Social I have been turned.  The real test will be if I can eat Fish and Chip shop mushy peas, or whether I only like the really top notch mushies.

Bobby Gillespie
So Primal Scream have well and truly done the festival circuit, and front man Bobby Gillespie is looking as stylish and 'off it' as ever.  Most notably Frolicking around the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury in a fuschia pink tuxedo, whilst attacking a somewhat limp Glastonbury crowd.  Only Bobby Gillespie could get away with this and for that Bobby, I salute you.

Going Down

Supermodel Diets
More articles fill fashion magazines with the five day supermodel diet, with sub headings of how to look like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.  Like the rake thin models themselves this is just getting a bit thin.   I have a full time job which does not consist of going to the gym and requires more than 500 calories a day, so unless you have a PA who can constantly inject you with vitamin shots it really is not worth the five days of misery.  Give me Kate Upton any day.

Daisy Chain Hair Bands
I will never understand why daisy chain hair bands are such a hit at festivals.  Yes I get that you are at a festival and think that you are embracing your inner hippy, but I can assure you that this really is not an important item when packing for a festival.  You may have been lucky this year with our freak summer weather but if you hit a festival year which consists of torrential downpours, aka my Glastonbury of 2011, your daisy chain head band will simply be an irritation that is covered by your hat, hoodie and a not so waterproof poncho. PACK WISELY!!

Hair Buns
Buns seem to be making a huge comeback and I will say I am a big fan of this hairstyle; it has an air of sophistication and authority about it, a classic school ma'am look.  Yet there is something very disturbing about the buns that are taking over women's heads.  Everywhere I look they seem to be getting bigger and bigger.  If the bun is a big as your scalp, STOP! I beg of you.

The Boob Selfie
Who would have thought it, the celeb selfie has reached a new low.   As if the 'I’m on holiday, look at the view' and 'how thin my thighs are' wasn’t bad enough.  The one and only (thank god), Imogen Thomas (Big Brother Contestant for those of you fortunate enough to not know who she is) has posted a picture of her breasts pushed together entitled ‘Hey my little munchkins’.   
Too much!

Going Up
John Simm
My most recent and very overdue box set of Life on Mars has rekindled my love for this man.
From Human Traffic to his most recent BBC TV drama The Village, there is nothing that this strangely attractive Manc cant turn his hand to.

Malteaser Teaser Bar
I'm afraid to say that Malteaser Teaser bars are not the lighter way to enjoy chocolate but when something tastes this good you cant expect it to be.  A milk chocolate bar with pieces of malteaser honeycomb floating through it is to die for, and I would definitely suggest getting the 150g sharing bar as I can guarantee you that the single bar will not suffice.

Summer keeps teasing us with weekends of sunshine which is the perfect opportunity to get out those white clothes, and the high street is bursting with white designs especially Next's cigarette pants, and jumpsuit.  The cricket is on, we have The Ashes this summer so there is not better time to grab a glass of pimms and dazzle in your whites.

Budget Weddings
In a deepening economic crisis budget weddings seem to be the way forward, so much so that even Kiera Knightly is catching on.  So no more stately home, arriving on a horse drawn carriage, and a seven course meal, its all about a few select guests, arriving in your own car, and having a BBQ.  New blog post on budget wedding dresses coming soon.

Going Down

Made in Chelsea's Spencer and Lucy.
Nothing says I love you like an OK spread.  Not buying this relationship one bit; team Louise and Andy all the way.

Channel 4 Skinted facebook status
Yes I am aware that there are people in the world that take money they might not deserve, and buy things off the back of a lorry, but if I have chosen not to watch this please don't update with your opinions on this every two minutes!

Multicolour Dip Dying
I'm not a huge fan of the standard dip dying hairstyle as this reminds me far too much of the Christina Aguilera phase, where girls thought it was stylish to have a hair colour that resembled a bee; blonde/yellow on top and brown/black underneath, but multicolour dip dying is just going too far.

Yes they ease the pain on the balls of your feet, but the resemblance to stripper shoes is just not worth it.  Stiletto heels are making a comeback, and the pain of pinched in toes is definitely worth this classier look.

Going Up

Pistachio Ice-Cream
Everyone raved at me about Ice-Cream in Italy but I wasn't convinced; it's only ice-cream after all, but how wrong I was.  I literally could not go a day without pistachio ice cream.  Now if only I can find the same calibre in the North East, and trust me the pistachio ice cream at the parlour round the corner in Jesmond in not a patch on it; unfortunately it's more vanilla than pistachio.  Any suggestions to feed my addiction please help!

Zara Floral Prints
After my recent trip to the Gucci Museum I'm loving all things Flora, and Zara have outdone themselves.  The collection is my entire wish list; someone pass me the plastic.

Colosseo Metro Stop-Roma
Stepping out of this Metro stop is actually worth being overcharged, crowded and very sweaty.  To be greeted by such a monumental ruin that almost doesn't look real left me speechless, which takes some doing.  It definitely says something when a main road has been built next to it rather than through it, or being knocked down for good old British new builds.

Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke (Feat T.I and Pharrell)
The UK's current number 1 and as much as I have tried resist I can now see why.  This tune is far too catchy and I promise you won't be able to make it through the song without a guilty (or not so guilty) shuffle.  I'm also loving the blatant hashtagging and Robin Thicke's cropped trouser suit and loafers.

Going Down

Warning, when it comes to grappa do not follow the saying "when in Rome".  This Italian signature drink burns on the way down, gives you really bad indigestion, and I'm quite sure it will burn on the way back up.  Awful stuff.

Clicking at Waiters.
I witnessed this in a wine bar in Rome and there really is just no need for it.  If you still have the gift of speech to say "excuse me", or can manage eye contact then you have no excuse; you just look like an arrogant prick - Stop it!!!

British Festivals.
Yes I know Glastonbury is back after a year off (woohoo) but the thought of standing in a muddy field, either freezing cold or boiling hot in a tent (trust me there is no happy medium), washing with baby wipes and the ultimate insult of being rained on for a week fills me with relief that I will be not attending one British festival this year.  Either festival abroad; I suggest Benicassim near Barcelona, or Sziget in Budapest, or get your mates round crack open the bottles, make the most of the BBC red button and watch from the comfort of your living room.  I can promise you will be a much happier person.

I get it, they are comfortable and come in lots of pretty colours but female travellers I can assure you that they do not go with everything in your wardrobe.  The new travel shoe has to be the loafer, and since it is 60 years since the creation of the Gucci loafer with horse bit what better way to show your appreciation.

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